Typical Tuesday

It started with exercise at 6 (OK, 6:18!I pushed the snooze button) . The muffins went in at 6:45am, quick cool down and the kids were up, scriptures read and ready to leave for the bus stop by 7:45. At 8am I was feeding Ashley and then dressing Mackay for preschool, and trying to fit a shower in. With Mackay off to preschool at 8:45am, I moped, smiled at Ashley and got her ready for her visit with Mom and Dad. As she left D came while his foster parents went to a meeting to discuss D's future. Picked up Mackay at 10:45 just before my case worker came for her monthly visit. (We're still on track as foster parents, whew!) 12:13pm re-moped floor after D tracked poop in from back yard. 12:30 Molly B. came. Lunch (Left over spaghetti squash with sauce, new favorite I'd tried with Molly). 1:00pm, Ashley came back from successful visit with Mom and Dad (Keep praying for them). 1:20 Ashley, Molly and Mackay went down for a nap. Make dinner for tonight just to be ready. Chicken Pot Pie(See Proof above. I tried to show the time on the stove but alas) 2:30 D leaves. 2:30 I blog. I need proof that this day was real. I will regroup for 30 minutes and get the kids at 3:08 from the bus. Then Hailey's Ballet at 4:15, Molly leaves at 5. Grant has scouts at 5 and and I will pick Hailey up from Ballet after dropping Grant off. (Pray that Chris will finish Training and be home soon!) Pick up Grant at 6 and take him and Jack to karate. 6-8 Scentsy party for my sister-in-law Tori Robinson. 8:30 baths, stories, prayers and kids will go to bed! 8:33-Look for hidden carb stash and sit down with my husband.
No, this is not normal, but I've been training for marathons for awhile. Hey, everyone needs a hobby right!

check engine light

Don't car problems just give you a sinking feeling? Way down in the pit of your pocketbook? Especially after having just payed for major repairs two weeks earlier... Cars used to be so much simpler and cheaper. (maybe that was back in college when the car I drove was cheaper and simpler)
When the check engine light went on this time, I did just that. Levels were great. Everything looked good. Clean. Secure. So we took it to our trusted mechanic and waited for the dreaded news. The call came.
The reason: gas cap wasn't screwed on tight.
The cost: Free!
Nothing removes a sinking car feeling like a trustworthy mechanic.
Shout out to Art and Ernie! If you live in Mesa, their your guys!

Q & A with a Foster Mom

We get so many of the same questions lately that we're starting to really refine our answers. Thought I'd share a few.
Q: How long have you known you wanted to Foster children.
A: I read an article when I was 14 about seriously abused children and wanted to do something. But I knew it would happen when I met my husband. He taught karate to children through college and was so patient, constant and firm I knew his skills had to be shared.

Q: Do you worry about getting attached and then losing a foster child?
A: No- I absolutely know we will get attached and we know their future is not our decision. I'm not sure what it will do to us, but it can't be any worse pain than what these children go through. Taking a sweet breath on this planet means sorrow ahead, but we at least have a warning this time.

Q: Is it a hard adjustment for your schedule and family?
A: I was braced for it but in truth it has been smooth for us. We still have smudges from our other children on the wall so what is one more? It suits us fine to just have one more in the mix since we are already in this stage of life. Diapers and night feedings will get old someday but we're still young (no snickering) so why not a little longer?

Q: What is the story with the parents?
A: We tell people they are addicted to drugs and are really trying to come clean. But truthfully, we learned that each child and each situation has it's right to privacy. Every human being has their ups and downs and struggles. Each foster child has a story that is really private and were they old enough to say so, probably wouldn't want people to know all they've been through. As much as I love a good story, I just need to know my job. We pray for these parents and hope for reunification.

A Q & A with a foster sister.
I over heard my daughter explain on a play date that "I was born from my mommy's tummy, but my foster sister wasn't". Somehow, my children have all just taken this whole thing in stride. Even my oldest is adjusted to her now. What ever upsets they may have experienced will be offset by lessons I could never have taught them otherwise.

the 90 & 9

So Jack was the first to say it, and but of course! He's the only child in our house who has been an only child.
"Mom, I feel like you love her more than us."
I almost felt comforted knowing at least it was out in the open. Coming from Jack, I know that what he is really saying is that 'one more person is taking mom's precious time away from me'. I am glad to have this discussion so early in the game-I'm pretty sure he wanted to say this when Grant was born but didn't have the verbal skills at 18months old. And then Grant got to be so much fun for him, why complain?
So I tried to assure him of my never-ending love (opposite of - for a limited time patience) and then found a moment to preemptively ask my other kids if they felt the same way. The kids are needing to step it up more, Jack went through math flashcards with Hailey while I changed diapers, but this is so good for all of us. Especially Ashley. Stepanie, as always, your comments are so helpful. I don't think I really realized what you were going through. And I think I assumed that since you signed up for this that it was all peachy. (How silly that logic seems now when I realize I longed to be a mother and it was still a pain at times)
But Jack has a birthday tomorrow and I am trying to making him feel as loved as he should be by making his favorite-cheesecake! If Jesus can leave the 90 & 9 for his one sheep, Jack can have his cake and eat it too!

chasing the dreaming

So yes, I have hit the wall. And I wonder, 'what is wrong with me' until I remember, oh yea, I haven't slept solid for more than four hours. I've been so busy with the newness of fostering along with my own life, I'd forgotten how a mom is supposed to take it easy for the first little while. As ever, Chris is wonderful to take a few nights of feeding on his nights off. That's new for us since all our children were nursed.
Our case manager comes by once a week right now and goes through her list of questions. One is, "are you experiencing any added stress in or out of the home?" I laugh inwardly at this one. Our case worker has been at the Foster agency since May. She still has an NAU parking sticker on her SUV. I can't see my self telling her that Gilbert citizens are not voting to raise Public Safety $$, I haven't reached my goal of Mother of the Year yet and my toddler has chosen to hit the terrible two's now-when he's two (weird huh?). "No, no added stress" I smile serenely. (or is that tiredly?)
I can't complain because my sister in law Molly has trouble sleeping all the time, but I'm used to sleeping like a rock. Chris always jokes that someone could break in and steal my pajamas and I wouldn't know it. Through all of this, I am still glad to share the love our family has and wouldn't back out. Especially since my wonderful son offered to feed her while I wrote this blog. This is good, for all of us.

It's a Girl!

I am the proud parent of a Foster Baby! Ashley was born August 22nd, addicted to Meth. She is cute as a button and a true angle with very little withdraw symptoms. Its been a dream of mine to foster and we are love the experience so far. Our family has taken to her easily and now even our boxer feels protective of her. We are asked often if we plan to adopt her, but I tell people; "I am not in charge of her future, so I don't make plans for her." I am just in charge of loving and caring for her and that is enough. Our greatest source of info is my sister-in-law Stephanie, who has fostered several children and adopted three. She reminds us that Jesus know what her future should be and where she will end up, and so we trust that he will protect her and guide her life. We're just lucky enough to be able to give her a good start. She has a concerned team of case workers and while the system isn't perfect, at least she had people looking out for her. We've never seen the bio parents so we can only dream of what she will look like- but angel is a good description of her so far.

Give me meatloaf on Tuesdays

My husband, Chris' job has crazy hours. I'm not alone in this. I have a good group of friends who deal with the same strange schedules and the same frustrations of working around their husbands work. I'm not good at being flexible, but I've learned to cope. Chris has a shift change once a year and I always gear up and try to glide smoothly into change as if I liked it. But lately he has all sorts of training and his day's and nights are never, NEVER the same. I schedule a play date and then he's there that day, I schedule to go out- and he has to leave for court! I save up projects for an evening to myself and my husband has that night off!
I love my husband, and I love that he is the bread winner so I can stay home with our children. I support what ever he needs to do and I try not to openly complain. But I need a constant! I'm trying to be that flexible woman who rolls with life, but I am not and I don't really want to be. I want to be the woman who has dinner on the table every night at 6:30 sharp- OK, maybe not her, but some where in between. I know I'm really just venting because I'm not handling this weeks crazyness well and I'm looking for an excuse. But I'm also hoping for a little sympathy here. Give me something more consistent than just poopy diapers, story time whenever bedtime actually happens and a solid trust in my husbands love. Or maybe that's enough.