Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Eat, Drink and Be Merry, for tomorrow you fry.

Confession time. All winter I have laughed at you. Yes, all my northern family and friends, I have laughed at your winter misery. The snow shoveling, black ice, and bleak grey days.I have listened to your woes and I have wondered why you would choose to live in a place where the weather could potentially kill you. Here in Arizona on a cold night, Chris and I would get our warmest flannel blanket out and sit on our patio with a cup of hot cocoa. Somedays, if it matched my outfit, I would even don a scarf, just for effect. 0
But judgment day is at hand. Actually it came April 21st, around the time Joe & Jen in Boston were waiting for their pile of snow to melt. The first day of 100 degree weather, the first of MANY!
Oh ye fair ones... ye better tan soon or it will be a long summer of sunburns.
Now is my day of reckoning, where I will drive with hot pads, and put sheets in the freezer so we can get comfortable at night. My cloths line complaints are mute now when cloths hung on the line are done faster than a hot pocket in the microwave. (disclaimer: I don't actually eat hot pockets, hot dogs, hot sauce or anything with the word hot in it until at least November)
I hear the maddening hum of fans, A/C's and computer tower fans like I lived in a self-sustaining, completely enclosed space port. I run from house to car to store and use lame mantras like "at least it's a dry heat". And I am sweaty from now until October, even in the pool. I will wonder why we choose to live in a place that cold potentially kill someone.
And just when I think I have served my sentence, and my day of penitence is at an end, September comes and you all tant us with pictures of crisp colorful autums, complete with a fall wardrobe and new colors to match. You will feel a change in the air and We will still be in the 100's, wearing our line-crisp, sun- bleached shorts and looking at our yellow lawn. We will be preparing for Halloween and planning costumes that won't over heat the kids while they trick-or-treat.
Yes, I laughed at you and now I am sorry. Forgive me and excuse me, I'm going to find an ice cube to put down my back!