I found a lump the other day and not in my oatmeal. It was a surprise to say the least. I wasn't quite sure what steps to take, do I call my OBGYN or family doctor? I settled on my OBGYN because he had seen me last and as soon as I explained the reason for my call they scheduled me an appointment with in the week. Still a few days to stew over the idea. I wasn't really worried, but my husband encouraged me to check it out. I am young, nursed my babies and breast cancer doesn't run in the family. But I let my imagination play with the idea for a time. What would that mean for my family if I really did succumb to cancer. What could I do to ease things for my children? And my husband, forget about it! He couldn't handle our break-ups during our year of dating. The poor guy, I'd probably mail order a bride for him to help him through. I thought about all the people I'd miss, and then I thought about someone I miss and would love to see, my niece Lucy. I think my Brother and Sister-in-law would be a bit jealous.
So the appointment was nearing and I thought, for good measure I would live each day as if it were my last. I woke my husband up like I did when we were newly weds. I raved about the over-cooked eggs my son made for breakfast and talked playfully with my kids. I went out of my way to see my in-laws and went shopping with my sisters. I made cookies for all the veterans I knew, cleaned offices with my brother and sister-in-law, filled the day and went to bed late.
At my appt. the next day, the doctor confirmed that it wasn't cancer although he wasn't sure what it was and just to keep an eye on it, (I'll put that on my husbands honey do list!).
No worries, now I'll go home, yell at my kids, eat some Halloween candy and be a little lazy. What did I learn? Living each day as your last is really exhausting! To those who are in the fight of their lives, I am so sorry.
7 comments:
I'm glad you're not leaving us Jenny.
Do they have any thought of what it really is?
I would be so jealous, though I wouldn't want to see you suffer. I really hope it is nothing. I do think we can live each day as if it were our last without it being exhausting, because it doesn't mean we would have to be "perfect"--I think it would just mean we do our best to treasure every moment...even if that moment is being lazy and eating candy.
You didn't call your mother! I'd have called you every 3 hours but other than that I would have supported you. It is scary and cancer is a hard thing to not think about. Love you Jenny. Mom
what an interesting insight. I have never thought what I would do if I was in that situation for real. Well I sure am glad it was nothing.
Cute post jenny! I am so glad you're ok. How scary!! I need to live my life more like that though...I think about doing so a lot.
I'm a stranger who came in from cyberspace. I enjoyed a little time on your blog. I went through a similar thing, but with a skin cancer scare. I thought for 2 weeks that I had cancer and was trying so much harder to be a good mom and wife. I needed the reminder that I fell back into my old self. Thank you and I'm glad to hear you are alright.
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