now where were we...

So, yes it has been ages since my last post. I hope you are not looking at this blog neglect with disdain. Rather imagine that we are two friends sitting at a party catching up on old times when I was called into the other room to help out with something and then was hit by a car, and put into a comma.  What ever conversation we were once having becomes unimportant when you want to ask the bigger question "How are you doing?"
       And I answer, "These days, we are doing the best we can."
What car crash has derailed me so?
 These two little cuties added to my own little cuties and all that goes with it.

Knowing the need was great, we prayed, discussed and agreed to foster a sibling group.We have fostered for almost 3 years now and felt we could try two. Because if one extra was good, two would be great, right?!  Yes....and NOh boy! Our cuties have been with us for 8 months now and through all our experiences and ups and downs we have come to a crossroad. Mom may not be able to 'get it together' in a healthy amount of time and these little ones shouldn't be left waiting for grown-ups to grow up. What happens next?  Your guess is as good as ours! We feel there is a forever family out there for them. While we don't feel that we are it, our hearts are breaking wondering how this will all play out. In the next few weeks we will have an answer but until then, we are trying to figure out how to tell a three year old that Mommy isn't working out and that there may be another family for her. Our 1yr old won't even begin to know what is going on.
Through all this, I am wondering, did we help at all? Are we just another trauma for them? Is this worth it?
 Yes, Yes and Yes.
No, it's not easy. It's not even fair. And on top of all that I have just told you, I am about to try and recruit you. There is still such a need. In Arizona alone there are over 1200 babies in group homes. (A great place to survive, but not a healthy, loving family) But there are so many good kids that need a chance to see normal, even for a little while. It is heartbreaking, but it is the best  we can do. 
So my house hasn't been really cleaned in 8 months and I am tense with the stress of what will be decided in court in a few weeks but again, 'I'm doing the best I can.'